Starting Over Again

Day 1

The city lights filled the entire view and the traffic was overwhelming. Mom and I were chasing time as we hurriedly went outside of this famous mall to secure ourselves a safe ride towards the dormitory. As I tried to catch up with my breathing, I saw a profound number of people falling in line (which, at first glance, I thought was an outdoor concert by some band). It was as if I was seeing numerous fans of a soon-to-be blockbuster hit movie in its premiere night, or a multitude of people present for a much-awaited fireworks display.

I was almost convinced by any of these theories when my mother muttered out, “ug sa dihang dapat jud ta mag-taxi ani Bii kay taas kaau ang linya sa jip!”

“As in miiii?! Para na sa jip? OMG…”

“Welcome sa Manila.”

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Day 4

It was three quarters past six in the morning , and I found myself inside a cab, sitting beside my mom, reminiscing what just happened a day ago and at the same time daydreaming about what is yet to come. Yesterday was just so perfect. We, the 225 SM scholar graduates of 2013 just had our fair share of being “Felicified” and experience Henrification”. I could still imagine myself sitting right next to Mr. Henry Sy and Mrs. Felicidad Sy looking straight into the camera my mom was holding to make sure I get the best shot of my life for that unbelievable opportunity to sit beside them. My tears began to flood my eyes when I looked back and recalled how I struggled my way towards graduating in high school, and how God blessed me to fortunately get a scholarship to send myself to college. Aaaahh. The feels. -_- As I was almost triumphant in distracting myself from the reality of going to the airport to finally leave Manila, I came across the sight of murals below an overpass. It was sort of a paint advertisement, a series of artistic portrayal of what virtue there is in every kind of occupation; may it be a teacher, construction worker, jeepney driver, etc., and what moved me most were the words “I am a construction worker. And I am proud of it.”(in Filipino of course) My heart sank as I was beginning to realize that I’m actually going back to Cagayan de Oro City, soon, my review classes will begin and the greatest test as a CPA aspirant is yet to unfold. I realized that it doesn't really matter whatever kind of employment I’ll end up with. What matters most is my passion, my love for what I do everyday and the kind of contribution I make for this country. Sounds like patriotism, but hear me, I cannot fully imagine how hard these ordinary laborers work every day, without even a sick leave, vacation leave, death benefit (at large), or any 13^th month pay, and yet, these individuals, with their humble contribution, has actually helped in shaping the quality of civilization that my country is enjoying right now. Then, I began quizzing myself on what are the possible things I could contribute if ever I end up as a CPA. And just before I could even think of a single reason, I fell asleep. Wow. :3

It was around 8am when my mom and I finally got to board for our flight back home. I will never forget the longest line I’ve ever seen outside NAIA 3 (perhaps that was actually normal, so pardon a super-seldom traveler like me). Man, it was a long straight line bending like a huge snake (that actually looked like the curves you make when you play the snake game in a Nokia 3210 phone model).

Anyway, as I was enjoying the window view from the airplane, I felt a sudden longing deep within my heart. A part of me literally wanted to stay and get lost in the craziest city of the Philippines. And so, to appease myself, I made a promise that someday, not too long a time, I will be back in Manila. I will go through the same process of going pass the guards (because I honestly didn’t know which way to go for an MRT ride, left or right), the literal SARDINES-IN-A-CAN situation inside the MRT during rush hour, and how you actually have to respect the rules on when and where you cross the street (I didn’t even feel jay-walking was a life-and-death situation in CDO, why should I bother here in MNL?). Someday, I’m gonna make the world see how independent I can be, and how I am capable of surviving this chaos every single day. I closed my eyes and dozed off once more.

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Day 110

The journey towards becoming a CPA was tough and it can only get even tougher when faced with mutually exclusive choices. I received a text message from the SM Supermalls HR officer while I was delving into complex calculations for my review. She was offering a job vacancy in the Accounting Department and would be very willing to process my application right away since I already had an interview session months ago.  It was not really super hard to decide on it, because from the very start, I really wanted to pass the board exam first before I preoccupy myself with workload inside the corporate office. I had to decline the offer and the HR officer wished me good luck and looked forward to working with me soon. (HAHAHAHA my lungs were like ASDFGHJKL) OKAY, so much for that SM drama, a few days later, I received a phone call from some HR officer again from an unknown company (because I wasn’t able to hear what he was saying as he began the convo) and was somehow assuring me that he’d be calling me back after the board exam to discuss some job offer. ASDFGHJJKL again and my lungs are now oversized HAHAHAHAHA well, my point is, the pressure was too much for me during those days. It felt as if I just have to pass the boards and there won’t be a single problem as to getting hired whatsoever. OR SO I THOUGHT.

Day 156

It was 7 days after the board exam results were announced and I felt like panicking already because no company actually contacted me for hiring. (ROTZBAKI PLS EXCUSE THIS SUPER FEELING GIRL OVER HERE) and so I started ransacking every link Google would offer and I freely displayed my resume to just get hired ASAP because my friends were so into audit firms already AND I’M SO NOT BECAUSE I’LL NEVER BE IN AN AUDIT FIRM OVER MY DEAD GORGEOUS FROG-IN-A-BLENDER BODY!!!! So I had to make sure some bank or corporation out there would be open to hire me at the eve of their month end paper-chase and soon-to-be 13^th month pay release. YEA, LIKE THAT’S GONNA HAPPEN.

-----but my friends, there's a solemn confession I must make. Actually, there WAS a willing company to hire me at the eve of this year-end chaos. I underwent FIVE interviews. It was a combination of actual and phone interviews. ‘twas a BPO so the only problem I had was dealing with the graveyard shift EVERY month-end, quarter-end and year-end. That’s all. HOHOHO! I even had to ask for signs from daddy Lord (which I rarely do) because I was only given a week to decide HAHAHAHA and yes, He gave me two signs already and, the ending was, I declined the offer. FACEPALM-----

Day 168

Today was the testimonial dinner day and I was so in red. Everything was very classic tonight except that I ruined my unblemished reputation in front of the SBM faculty with the previous dean and the current dean and with instructors from the business ad and accountancy department alike. This guy CPA Justine Pablico gave me a promise (OMGEEE JUSTINE WHERE IS THE PACKAGE?! Grrrrrrr) just so I’d speak for the night instead of him. I somehow uttered something weird, and the audience (together with the parents btw) where laughing already. IDK, maybe it was just my face lol Okay, that wasn’t so bad. -_- geeeezzz, and what’s more? I saw my friends who were hired already! >.< okay. Next pleeeaase.

Day 190

Nothing happened big time today. Like really. Today lang naman was my Oath-Taking Day!!! aheeeeeem. ;) HAHAHA srsly, it was really cool seeing my fellow PICPANs SEEEEEYY! And the warm welcome was pretty much evident (oh, the food was great too!) let alone the fact that the fee was thrice as much as the PRC registration fee. K. SMILES everyone! >.<

Day 198

Today was my first interview with this “multinational banking company A.K.A. Blue Bank) through a landline call. I was actually able to survive a 15-minute/ambush/AGAD2X/lol interview with their Senior Recruitment Manager days before. OHLALA. I was expecting the call around 10 am and waited for 20 freakin’-crazy-horrifying minutes for the phone to ring. I was expecting only one interviewer but lo and behold!!!!! There were two intimidating gentlemen waiting on the  line. One was a senior manager (I suppose, since I google-d his name and found out he ‘was sort’ of from an Indian ancestry plus, he sounded like one and he had a senior-ranking position in the company) and the other one was completely unknown for me, except that his voice reminded me of Ken in that Barbie-kiddo movie! HAHA okay so, they asked me so many questions and the interview lasted for almost an hour and THEN AGAIN I uttered something crazy that the next thing I knew, both men were already laughing on the line. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME???!!!! K. Move on. They told me to standby for any progress in my application and the HR personnel will just call me afterwards IF EVER I QUALIFY. Kaaaaaaay. My heart was thumping so fast minutes later and I just drowned myself with movies for the rest of the day UNTIL I found out in my email (in the afternoon) that I actually passed the second interview and WILL BE scheduled for the 3^rd and final interview. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Daddy Lord is just sooooo awesome! :’)

Day 202

Did I ever mention that I had 20+ applications (near 30’s) in jobstreet and that I have a notification subscription EVERY DAY so I’d be able to apply for a nice opening EVERY DAY as well?! Now, today was my first interview through Skype. And yes, it’s another bank, and let’s call it “the Red Bank”. The interview lasted for around 18 minutes and there were really basic background questions. I had to wear make-up (eeeww) and business attire BUT OF COURSE I’m never gonna run out of brilliant-crazy ideas so I looked like a freak wearing a formal blouse topped by a blazer and just pajamas underneath. SAY WHAAAAT??!!

Day 231

Just when the long wait for Interview #3 schedule for Blue Bank was about to make me give up for good, today was DOOMSday. So I was actually prepared for two people because the HR Senior Manager told me this time that there’d be two, but heck, when will there be an end to these surprises? There were actually THREE people waiting on the other line (two female bosses, and the other, a male executive) AND because I was OVER-CONFIDENT I didn't bother stalking the two female names given ‘cause I was pretty much confident that females will least likely tend to be “unfeeling” for their fellow femmes BUT TO MY HORROR, THEY WERE JUST OKAY except that female boss #1 was so CHINESE that all I can hear over the phone were vacuumed words and WITH ALL HONESTY I WAS SO IN STRUGGLE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY OR ASK FROM ME that I eventually ended up doing the ultimate NO-NO in interview 101 which is to say; “OH, PLEASE REPEAT THE QUESTION/I BEG YOUR PARDON MAAM.” To make matters worse, that was how I opened the interview OMGEEEEE. I was already thinking; THIS WOULD BE THE END OF MY CAREER POSSIBLITY IN THIS MULTINATIONAL BANK. >.< But then, I hope you know how I seem in times like this: even though I’m so loud deep inside and panic has already been accelerated to the highest magnitude, my outer appearance/impression will still be like Maria Clara dating Crisostomo Ibarra in one cool Sunday afternoon HAHAHAHA. I think it all went smoothly, especially that these bosses were so willing to listen to my ka-echosan and that ONCE MORE THE GRUESOME AND HORRENDOUS SORCERY HAPPENED: I made them laugh again OMGEEEEE!! Well, there would have been an interview in Cebu weeks after, but they told me that if I passed that interview, I’ll already be eligible for a job offer and be hired soon. HAHA LOTS OF HOPE for the leading lady! :’( The call ended after 45 minutes and I retired to sleep afterwards.

Day 232

My dad tried to wake me up around 6:30am today. I hesitated and went back to sleep. He made another attempt around 7 am but still I dozed off. Around 8am, my phone rang and an HR officer from Red Bank “sort of” obliged me for an interview in two hours at a nearby branch on this cold rainy day!!!! I jumped off the bed and swiftly took my bfast and went to clean my messy self in the bathroom. In an hour I was ready but I took time coloring my face HAHAHA so I was just in time when I arrived at the bank. This would be for an AWESOME Management Trainee application my friends! Six months of stay-in all-expense paid training in Manila and if I will survive that, a cool bank position awaits right after the training! :D oh yeaaaa!!! So I had my hands on this list of awards this bank received (for almost two centuries now) for me to memorize as I was waiting inside their office in a 23 degrees Celsius temperature. That lasted for 30 minutes . Little did I know that I would be willing to endure a whole-day’s wait in that office than to enjoy a 25-minute cruelty inside the manager’s boardroom. >.< HE.WAS.DEAD.SCARY.SERIOUS.ABOUT-TO-KILL.ME when he got inside the room holding my resume. It was the first time for me to encounter an interviewer that was so COLD that he immediately started with the first question when he got inside the room. I will not go into details as to how he tried to KILL ME SOFTLY during those 25 minutes of my poor unfortunate life! :’( it ended when he said; “okay. That’s all.” And he left the room. And so did I. GOOD BYE RED BANK. GOOD BYE AWESOME MANAGEMENT TRAINING. THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

Day 245

Yesterday was my birthday I must say, and the wait for the outcome for Blue Bank seemed like forever until the HR Senior Manager called me today and gave me the job offer!!! My heart sank and it seemed like the world was right in front of me. Perfect birthday present daddy Lord, ikaw naaaa!!! OH BY THE WAY, I forgot to tell you that Blue Bank’s job offer was for a Makati vacancy and I’d have to stay in Makati for good. My salary is not so big but not so small. It seemed quite enough for a starting CPA in MAKATI (expensive place you must know that!!!! GUDLAK TO ME) she also enumerated the benefits that reminded me of Accounting 101 and Tax 101! HAHAHAHA!! When she finally asked if I’ll accept the offer or still think about it, I had a slip of hesitation in my head and told her I’d wish for some time to think very well for it. She gave me 4 days to decide and the call ended like it took forever to absorb it actually happened.

Day 249

I talked to my parents about the job offer and really, they were so open to the possibility of me---moving to Makati for my first job. I consulted my guru friends and majority were so supportive, IN FACT so excited for me! lol most importantly, I really prayed to Daddy Lord that if ever this isn’t for me, He’d make another company call within the week so I’ll refuse Blue Bank’s offer. But then, nothing happened. Around 1am today, I called the HR Senior Manager and gave my affirmation for the job offer. I don’t know. Maybe she was just super happy that day, but she was like OVERJOYED when I accepted the offer. She uttered “YEHEEEYY!” around twice or thrice, that I was just so overwhelmed! HAHA anyhow, she gave me the details and it was finally confirmed that I’d be starting to stress myself and sleep late and cry like crazy for missing CdeO by the 3^rd of March. :’)

The long wait for my first job was finally over. It was not easy for me because I had so many questions in mind and I was hurt so many times after knowing that some other applicants were already hired for the many position(s) I applied for. It's very important to take note that everything happens in its own time. God will always be faithful with His promises and He will really guide you all through the way. Who would have thought that the CURFEW GIRL will end up having her first job in Makati and who would have thought it would be one of the most challenging jobs around? Well, it would matter to take note that the initials of my job title is just CPA in some other order HAHAHAHA! Seeee?! :') The girl who NEEDS to sleep at least 8hrs/day will now be working for the company with the tagline: the C_ _ _ never sleeps. WHAT A COINCIDENCE HOHOHO!!! Pray for me. PLEEEEAAASE?!

Oh well, bye for now. I have to secure a good place to stay at Makati and all the other requirements to be accomplished. You better read this entry well because I'd be dead-busy a month from now and you'll be missing my entries! SEEEEYY! ^.^ Iloveyouall! :*

Next stop: FINALLY. It's now the right guy. :') And this time, I'm serious. Dude, you're next in line. Teheeeee :']

"Everything worth having is definitely worth waiting."

To Him be all glory!

Dearest

First of all, I’d like to express my gratitude to the two people whose privacy I am about to invade. The girl, just before we would graduate in college, entrusted me with a bunch of letters and dried roses and a pair of earrings, a ring and a rusty necklace and all the love and sincerity that went along with it. She told me that she found it necessary to dispose all the evidence of the past and start another love story with her current boyfriend. However, since I served as an ever loyal bridge in her past love story, she opted to entrust to me the decision of either throwing it all away or keeping it as long as I want. For years, I didn’t have the heart to throw them all away. My heart sank as my friend handed them all to me, all I knew was that if there would be one person who would be willing to do her best to keep this couple together, that person would be me. Sad to say, it takes two to tango, not three HAHAHAHA and believe me when I tell you that up to now, I am still hoping they’ll end up together. Inasmuch as I would want to rewrite their destiny and make their paths cross once more, there is nothing left to go back to, only the road ahead..only the “moving forward” route.

I've no idea how old this is >.< ikaw na girl!!!!

Three things na binigay ni boy; earrings, ring and necklace--- three means I LOVE YOU raw <3

However, the time has come for me to let go of her safely-kept package. I am about to leave my hometown for some bigger dreams of mine and that would mean I’d be leaving all the privacy I have kept inside my room for more than two decades now. And so before I throw away all the pain and glory of the past, I’d like to keep a snapshot of it and share it to you, whoever you are.

This ex-couple reminded me of the Kristine Hermosa-Jericho Rosales love-team. So let’s make use of that for the sake of naming names. ;)

Be reminded that most of the letters I have were from Jericho (as kept by Kristine). Also, I’d like to share them according to date so that you’d be able to fully see how their love progressed from an innocent puppy love to a complicated teen-age affair. There were so many letters my friends, that’s why I had to scout for only a few, just so you can grasp the comical yet heart-warming chapter these two individuals shared, once upon a time.

Let’s begin.

This poem was the very first poem ever written by Jericho for a girl, and this too, was the first poem received by Kristine, coming from a guy.

Pangako mo sa aki’y di magbabago

Ngunit bakit nagkaganito

Ako’y iyong nilisan

Wala man lang paalam

Ano ba ang nagging dahilan

Kumaba sa puso ko

Nais kong malaman mo

Pagmamahal ko ay di magbabago

Maghihintay na lamang ba

Ang puso kong nangangamba?

Sa iyong mga pangako,

Ano ang gagawin

Ako ba’y maghihintay pa

Ngunit bakit lumisan ka

Magbabalik ka pa ba

Dito sa piling ko

Pangako mo sa aki’y

Aasahan ko…….

All of the following are excerpts of short and lengthy letters written by the boy. (aside from the fake names) COPIED AS IS.

Ano raaaawww?! "You're so cute like me?" Waaaaw. Nakakahiya naman sa'yo Jericho! HAHA

January 11, 2004

….Alam mo ba kung gaano kasakit ang sinulat mo sa akin (last Friday). Nabigla ako noong nabasa ko yun tapos sinali mo pa si (insert some male name here)? Bakit? Nagkita ba kayo? Nagkausap ba kayo? Ano papalitan mo ba ako sa kanya?....kung hindi mo na ako gustong maging kaibigan sabihin mo lang ako na mismo ang lalayo sa’yo at maghahanap ako ng ibang kaibigan dahil maraming sakit na aking nadarama sa’yo…..

Jericho

October 7, 2004

Kristine, sabihin mo ang totoo may gusto ka ba sa akin dahil si (insert male name here) ang palagi mong pinapansin eh, tika-tika wag’ ka sanang magagalit, nagseselos kasi ako eh kapag kinakausap mo si ****….Tin, kung si **** ang mahalin mo “magpapakaMATAY” talaga ako Tin umiiyak ako! …..hindi kita pakakawalan kahit saang lupain ka magpunta. Susundan kita OK!

Jericho

December 4, 2004

….Kristine, ito ba ang E-mail address mo KristineHermosa@yahoo.com sa akin ay Scoobie_doo@yahoo.com binago ko! Mayroon kang Friendster? Para friends na din tayo sa COMPUTER

Jericho

2005-2007

Undated. The letters in between.

>Kristine the box that you gave me this morning why is it that it doesn’t have any letter and the letter that you wrote to me is in the box. Tin, I hope, you will understand my letter. GOOD BYE!

Jericho

******I do hope Kristine understood that one yo!******

>Kristine, sino ba ang sumanib sayo na kaluluwa noong Friday? Para kasing nagbago ka eh! Hindi mo ako pinansin, ang bata ang pinapansin mo. Hindi naman talaga “tagalog” yun, Visayan yun at nagpa-uto ka sa kanya, huwag kang magalit sabi ni (insert female name here) nagseselos ka daw pag nagkita kami ni (insert another female name here) PLEASE huwag ka sanang magalit.

 ----DON’T BE ANGRY BE HAPPY----

Jericho

******

>Hi.

I-Want to know you Kristine

L- abis kitang mahal.

O-key lang ba sa iyo.

V-ery cute mo kasi.

E-very night kitang iniisip.

Y-our so beautiful!

O-ras na mamahalin mo ako.

U-ubusin ko talaga ang oras ko para lang sa’yo!

Kung may panganib, tawagin mo lang ako dahil handa akong protektahan ka ano man ang mangyari.

Jericho

******

>Kristine, bakit inilipat ka na naman ng upuan at katabi mo ang batang si (insert some male name here) Tin, kapag binastos ka ng katabi mo, sabihin mo lang sa akin, babatokan ko yan! Ay! Sorry, sinabi mo pala sa akin na hindi ako maghahanap ng away k!

Jericho

******

(around March 2005)

"….Tin, tama ka hindi mo na nakikita ang ngiti ko, expressions, at hindi mo na naririnig ang boses ko, ako din! Katulad tayo ng nadarama sa isa’t isa...."

Jericho

******

(around 2006)

Jericho, please don’t hurt me, don’t make me cry, don’t fool me but instead love me, make me smile and be true to me. If ever makipag-break ka, ok ra, basta I know the reason and dili because you found someone new…..maybe gigayuma ko nimo hehehe. Pro if ever gigayuma ko nimo, dili na unta xa mawala because I always want to be with you, by your side. Ayaw baya ko pahilaka ha! Suwayi gali kay gera ta! (Joke ra!) Don’t ever change because I love you just the way you are.

Kristine

March 28, 2007

Just tell me kung expired na ko sa imong heart kay walay expiration date akong love sa imo as of now…………..WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?! Ad2ng dili pa kita, grabe kaayo ka kapasensyoso, you’d even wait for me if ever daghan ko ginabuhat just to talk to me. Ad2ng dili pa kita, you always have time for me. You always comfort me, you always make me smile, you always make me calm. KARON NA KITA NA bali na hinuon. Kulang na imong time para sa ako because of your COMPUTER GAMES. Kulang na imong time sa ako because of your FRIENDS. Kung tutuusin, your always with your friends. 8 hours a day 7 days a week pajud nimo sila kauban while ako 3 days a week 2 hours a day ra nimo kauban….YOU KNOW WHAT? I WANT TO BREAK UP WITH YOU…I’m tired of crying everyday. (karon ra sad na week) If you want to talk to me, just approach me anytime of the day basta dili ko busy.

Kristine

Jericho’s reply:

TIN SORRY HA NOWADAYS NAPAG-ISIPAN KO NA HINDI TALAGA TAYO BAGAY SA ISA’T-ISA…PERO DAGHAN KAAYO GA HADLANG SA ATONG DALAWA.. SORRY HA THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE THAT YOU GAVE TO ME THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING…KRISTINE…I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH YOU KNOW THAT!!! BUT THERE IS SO MANY HUMAHADLANG…… THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING……GOOD BYE TO YOU GOOD BYE TO EVERYTHING…PAALAM NA, PAALAM NA PAALAM NA MANA….I LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY……BYE BYE

ITO ANG PINAKAMALUPIT NA LETTER SA LAHAT DAHIL SA PITONG PATAY NA LAMOK! Waaaw,  hindi masyadong halata ang pagiging sadista ni Jericho! HAHA

September 6, 2007

(as quoted by Kristine from her teacher) "Hurting is a part of love. Why do we cry a lot if we don’t love? When we travel in life, let us not be afraid." 

It’s good that we know reality…I have to go on.

Kristine

September 18, 2007

….”sayang” ang word of the day kay you know na, HAPPY MONTHSARY unta! Kung wala lang ko nag patigbulag…pero unsaon ta man…you know what gisilutan sguro ko ni God kay nagbulag ta…sala man gyud nako……pero kung kabalo lang ka…LOVE gyapun taka

Jericho


November 14, 2007

Hi Jhala!

[insert super lengthy chika here]

"...but dili nako bawi-on akoang promise, mag-wait jud ko sa iya, bawasan lang nako, instead of 26 yrs old, until 22 yrs old na lang kay basin mahimo kog matandang dalaga. All I can do is hope, pray, wait and stand strong. Nag-fight ko para sa iya, mo-fight gihapon ko for him but silently na lang tingali

Kristine

**********END OF SHARING************

These excerpts poorly depict the real reason of their break-up. You know what I mean. Break-ups are complicated. Break-ups are sad. Like, generally AND seriously, there is nothing to celebrate about two people breaking up >.<

I hope you guys understand why I am posting a story with such a sad ending on Valentine's day. I'm also sorry that I omitted so many other letters because including them will compromise the identity of these two people. I am doing this primarily because I believe in love, the act of loving and of hoping. I know, things will never be the same again, but if we could at least see and take a peek of what happened in between, we will finally understand that it is not the “happily-ever-after” that counts the most, it’s the courage that these two people had in order to begin that “once upon a time” and cherish everything that happened in between.

I am not doing this for them to get back together, because I am honestly happy seeing them happy as well, together with their respective other half. I am doing this for you, for you my dear reader, so that you don’t end up holding on to some false hope and for that kind of idealism the world has set as a standard when it comes to love. I want you to face love as is, feel it, embrace it, enjoy every minute of it and finally be able to look back without regrets. I’m not saying all love stories end up sadly. The truth is, it ends up just as how it should. And that’s another thing we should gladly look forward to. :’)

Believe me, I do not intend to make you cynical, to make you worry, to make feel doubtful and make you feel scared. My dearest reader, I want you to laugh, I want you to cry, to never be afraid of loving the wrong person, and finally, it all sums up to this one thing we can always do and have freely; I want you to love.

I admire how Jericho and Kristine faced this epic chapter of their lives; the tendency of an eleven-year old to get super jealous, the thing about girls when they like being chased, the expiry of boys' patience that unfortunately happen when you need them the most and the tragic ending of moving on and letting go. And I admire those people who went through this process just the same. May you continue to love faithfully and forgive endlessly.

Currently, Jericho and Kristine are still friends. What’s even better is that they’re still my friends (THEY LOVE ME SO MUCH THAT THEY ALLOWED ME TO PUBLICLY SHARE WHAT THEY HAVE KEPT PRIVATE FOR YEARS HAHAHAHA)! And most importantly, these two people dared to love, give freely, dream big, fail, and suddenly woke up from their dreams, saw what lies ahead and bravely moved on.


♫ ♫ I hope he buys you flowers,

I hope he holds your hands.

Give you all his hours,

When he has the chance

Take you to every party,

Cause I remember how much

You loved to dance

Do all the things I should have done,

When I was your man ♫ ♫

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! ;)

Ikaw.

Naghihintay pa rin ako.

Sabi ni friend, i-pray ko kay God, tas dapat "be more specific."

Ngumiti ako. Kasi naisip ko, hindi nga naman ako masyadong naging specific kay Lord sa pagdarasal ko! 21 years na. Gusto ko kasi, mabait, may pinag-aralan, may plano sa buhay, at napapatawa ako. Yun lang naman. Hindi ko masyadong iniisip kung gwapo ba, mayaman, thoughtful, o yung palaging sweet..kasi alam ko naman na sa paglipas ng mga araw, nawawala rin yun. >.< Medyo praktikal na ako ngayon. Hehe. Kahit na hindi pa ako nagkaka-boypren, hindi naman ibig sabihin 'non na hindi pa ako kailanman nasaktan. Maniwala ka, kung gagawing pelikula ang mga naging karanasan ko, paulit-ulit lang ang tema: sawi sa pag-ibig. Naranasan ko na siguro halos lahat. (MEDYOFEELING) Merong crush na mas matanda sa akin, merong mas bata, meron ding salawahan na manliligaw, meron din yung iniwan nya yung girlfr niya para sa akin (CHOS) meron din yung close friend na crush pero hindi lang talaga nya ako feel, may crush na pinaasa ako dahil alam niyang crush ko sya, at meron din yung muntik nang maging kami, it turns out, bakla pala. Alam no yun, yung parang circus yung naging love story ko, may iba't ibang rides, masaya, nakaka-excite, pero iisa lang ang ending..malungkot, bigo, at nakakaiyak lahat. Pero alam mo, nakakatawa rin kasi sa tingin ko yata, yung pagiging super romantic ko, parang ako na yung manliligaw. Halos lahat ba naman ng naging crush ko, sinulatan ko ng liham, ginagawan ko pa ng tula. <3 HAHA nakakatawa! lol pero hindi ko pinapabasa sa kanila. Tinatago ko lang yung mga ginawa ko, minsan tinatapon.

Sa kabila ng lahat, di pa rin naman ako sumuko. Noon, nakaka-inis yung mga magkasintahan na naglalagay ng mga larawan nila sa facebook. Kasi alam mo, mas nararamdaman ko kung ano yung wala sa akin. Pero hindi nagtagal, naisip ko, masaya palang tingnan ang mga larawan nila. Kasi, sa bawat larawan, nararamdaman ko na magkakaroon din ako ng ganyang larawan balang araw. Hanggat buhay pa ako, naniniwala ako, meron talagang lalaking ipinanganak para sa akin. Magtatagpo at magtatagpo ang mga landas namin, anuman ang mangyari. Naisip ko, hindi ko na siguro mararanasan yung teenage love, yun bang mga tweetums na nararanasan ng mga estudyante! <3 Alam mo na, medyo matanda na ako! HAHA pero okay lang, tanggap ko na may dahilan kung ba't nangyayari ang mga bagay-bagay. ;)

Sa tingin mo, ikaw na kaya yun? Naalala ko tuloy kung pano ka ngumiti nung nagkita tayo. Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan kung paano mo ako binati ng "UUUUIIII!!!" mas lumawak yung ngiti ko. At dahil hindi tayo masyadong nag-uusap 'non, napatingin ako sa braso mo, at nakita ko yung peklat mo. Medyo adik nga, kasi mas nagustuhan kita, kasi naramdaman ko na kung saan man nanggaling ang peklat na yun, sigurado ako, matapang ka, hindi ka basta-basta sumusuko sa mga hamon ng buhay. (WEEEH?! Ang lalim agad ng kahulugan ng peklat besss! HAHA) Tas hindi ako makatingin sa mukha mo kasi, baka mahuli mo ako. Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap pigilan na tingnan ka? -_- Sinabi ko na lang sa sarili ko; "Oi day, wag kang masyadong oversss, baka magselos si right guy, baka magtampo yun sayo kasi ang dali mong magkagusto. Hindi ka makapaghintay sa kanya!" So ayun, kumalma ako. Alam mo, nung umalis ka na, parang may nawala. Tao, malamang HAHA, pero seryoso, na-miss kita agad. Naisip ko, sana, magkita tayo ulit. Sana maulit muli. :') LOL

Ginawa ko ang post na ito in Tagalog kasi mas sweet basahin. Mas ramdam ang ibig kong ipahiwatig. Ginawa ko ang post na ito para kung sakali ay maligaw ka sa blog ko, malaman mo na sa ikatlo ng Pebrero taong 2014, habang ako ay papauwi at nararamdaman ko ang malamig na hangin na sumasalubong sa aking mukha, iniisip kita. Patuloy pa rin akong umaasa.

 At higit sa lahat, ginawa ko ang post na ito para malaman mo na sa araw na ito, sa wakas ay nagkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob para gawin ang isang bagay. Hindi naman ako perpekto. Sa tingin ko nga, medyo marami akong mga pagkakamali para dinggin Niya ang panalangin ko. Feeling ko, hindi ako deserving sa'yo. Kasi matino kang tao, napakabait mo (sabi ng girl-friends mo), at higit sa lahat, hindi ka warshock, magkaiba talaga tayo. :'( Gayunpaman, sinubukan ko. Sinubukan ko ang isang bagay na alam kong maaaring hindi kailanman mapagbibigyan. This time, I have been more specific. Hiningi kita kay Lord. :')